Choices

It's that time of year again!  The time when parents routinely ask their child if they want a shot or not. (yes, you read that right).  Repeatedly I will recommend a flu shot for a child and the parent will turn to the child and ask them if they want a shot. So I thought I would take a few minutes and discuss choices.

Let's start out with why we should give kids choices?  For one, choices help children feel like they have some control in their life. It would be unpleasant if someone decided all day long what we should wear, eat, and do.  Second of all, giving kids choices gives them practice for when they are an adult and have to make all their decisions themselves.

There are also reasons why we should not give kids choices. Most importantly is that their brain is not developed so they cannot always decide what is safe or healthy. There are also times that it is the best interest of our time and sanity not to give choices or too many choices.  (For example asking a child what they want for dinner every night.)

So... when to offer choices.  First of all, if there is no choice then don't offer one!  For example don't ask your child if they want to sit in their car seat or if they want to brush their teeth. I would start to offer choices at a fairly young age (1-2 years).  I would keep it simple.  Do you want the apple or the banana? Red cup or blue cup? Pink shorts or orange ones?   As kids get older then you can have them make more complex choices. For example, what would you like for dinner one night this week? Which sport do you want to play?  Teens should be even more complex tasks such as managing their time and money.  As always you should be there as a parent to help them guide their choices. And again don't offer a choice that is not acceptable to you or not safe!

Back to the flu shot question. I would not recommend asking your child if they want a shot. This is a decision that you as a parent have to make.  Choices that would be appropriate would be asking your child if they want the Flumist (nasal spray) or shot.  (they must medically be able to have the mist so I would check with us first before offering this choice). Also a teen has the ability to participate in the decision about whether or not to have the flu shot.

I hope this helps!